My prayer

Dear Lord,
I ask for your forgiveness. I saw some pics and hoped that I was in someone elses place. It could have been me. He was my bf. I really envy his wife. To be getting the love from the guy who loves only you, who is dedicated to you.

Lord, when is it my turn to be loved? Is it because I failed to love myself? Because I doubted myself? Teach me Lord, to love and be loved. To be satisfied with what I have and let me be envied by the others.

I know it is too much to ask. I just want to complain. Thank you Lord for listening.

In Jesus's name I pray, Amen.

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Feelings

After posting the last blog, I was browsing my previous entries... My tears starts to stream down my face. A thought came to me, things that I wanted to say to Colin:

Colin, are you happy now? After our divorce, does that make you a happier person? If it does, I'm happy for you, cuz I din go thru those sufferings in vain. If it doesn't, do we still have a chance to make it work out right? For Cedric too?

Though we're back on toking terms now, I'll nv b able to pluck that courage to tell you all these. I made mistakes in our relationship but I've nv realise it till its too late.

My life has been changed by your decision. I'll nv b truely happy. I can't turn back time. I regret.

I just pray that there might be that 0.1% you'll rmb my good points and that you too will hope for those good times again.

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Welcome back!!

Hehehe... I'm abit ashamed to post this...cuz its been a long while since I last blogged...finally, I found this app that I can use for blogging and I'm sure I'll b using it often. Still the same question in my mind... Who is left reading this blog?

Anyway, even if no one else reads this, I'm fine with it... Cuz this will be the place whr I whine and complain, thus the name BITCHING POINT.

Well, loads of things happened in the past 2 years...I've gotten divorced, finally the house issue is settled. I've got a bf but things dun seem to go on quite well, I've worked as HR in NTU, that din work out too... Now I'm in sales, like the environment, like the job but my health and family do no agree to it...my mom passed away in Nov 2010, and half a yr later my dad is diagnosed with colon cancer...to really sum up, I feel that my life sux big time and to put it nicely, my faith is being tested.

I'll say I do believe in Christ, but I'm just lazy to attend church. Sloth, one of the seven deadly sins. In fact, I'm lazy to do anything. If it din start the way I want it, then I tend to be lazy and not continue it... Or lose focus of my goals.

Enuf of that, I want to start my complain. I've been running for the lol, 6-8 times today cuz of diarrhea. And, to make it worst, Aunt Ruby join in the game. Starting last week I had plans to start slimming down... So I had been exercising. Was planning to go swim again but had to give up the idea.

I've also decided to re-decor my room, so that I can hv more space for exercise and most importantly, Cedric can have a place to play. Most likely, its gonna be a major make over...then I can invite ppl to my hse, for console games or if I can get a table, a mahjong session....wahaha...my hand is itchy just thinking of it.

Anyway, I guess that's all I wanna say nw... See ya'll soon...I hope. *grin*

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